10 Things I Realise About Myself After Being A Mother

Tuesday, December 02, 2014

When I was younger, I didn't think being a mother will be this challenging. Sure, it is not easy - dealing with your children's meltdown with the public looking at you in a disapproving shake of their heads, people pointing at your butt and go, "Wow. That is the size of Asia.", or commenting how much you look like an auntie after giving birth...

The problem about being a mother is that everyone sees how lacking you are.

When your child has a meltdown, it is definitely because he/she has a bad upbringing. That you are condoning your child too much, that's why they are giving you so much shit now.

When you care too much, you are protective and kiasu. When you slack off a little, you're irresponsible and shouldn't reproduce. When you buy them toys, they say you indulge them. When you don't, they say you deprive your kids of their deserved childhood.

It is so easy to bash mothers.. so much so that some of us really see ourselves as not being good enough, even though we're putting in the most insane amount of effort in being a good mother.

Today, to encourage myself and all the mummies around me, I've came up with a small list of things I realised about myself, after being a mother! Small list, but great things.

1. Staying fully functional with however little sleep I have

This must be a special power for all mothers. I don't think I was able to function without proper sleep before I became a mom. But now? 3 hours sleep?


2. Be ambidextrous

Ever tried carrying a baby in one arm while eating with another? How about feeding one baby with the bottle with one hand while colouring with the other child with another hand? My personal high-score will be cuddling Alexis with one hand while typing away on another... and on a conversation on the phone in between my cheek and shoulder. If I have three hands, I would be... tridextrous.

3. Unlimited amount of patience

Of course this meme isn't for my kids! BUUUUT, having kids train my patience. If I can deal with two wailing kids who refuse to gimme a break, I CAN DEAL WITH THEM BITCHES.

I realised that having kids increased my tolerance for nonsense other people give me. I'm more composed, I get angry lesser... and even if I do get angry, I hardly lose my temper these days. My mum calls it "mellowed down", I call it... "immune to bullshit"

4. That I am more capable than I think I am

I don't know. Sometimes I get possessed by a housewife-God or something. These days, my house is neater than usual, food tastes slightly better, I can sew a bit better too... and I can bring two charming kids to and fro Marine Parade by myself. If that is not being capable, I don't know what is. Hehehe. #selfpraiseisnopraise

5. That how poo and puke can be the most disgusting thing in the world, yet I can clean them up without feeling nauseated myself


6. That I have an incredible tolerance of pain

What? 40 hours of labour? 24 hours of contraction without epidural? You guys forgotten?

7. That I can actually do housework properly & I have zero tolerance of mess and dirt

Which is pretty impressive given that I couldn't even operate a washing machine before I got married! I can now do most of it on a daily/weekly basis. My husband no longer pulls his hair in exasperation, "Why your clothes fold like this one?!"

Also, I dunno why most people say that parents are supposed to be able to tolerate mess better because kids are always messing things up. I think this is exactly why we should get them to clean up!

Besides, Dylan and Alexis spend a lot of time sitting/lying down on the floor so I realise that my tolerance for dusty floors and messy playrooms are all time low these days. Despite having a part-time helper coming by every week, I am basically sweeping the floor/cleaning the toilet every single day. Dylan is also made to tidy up his playroom after every play session.

8. I can finally manage my time better

Pretty much the story of my life lol.

But honestly, with two kids in tow, I realise that I'm less late than when I was in poly wtf. Not sure if it is the age thingy or having kids actually make me plan more and have better time management.

Also, I categorize chores into "OMG MUST DO NOW", "I think I can do it when the kids sleep" and "I think I'll ask the husband to do it hehe". Definitely something that I didn't use to have before I have kids. Last time I only had one category - "Things to do (later)"

9. That I finally understand where my mom is coming from... sometimes.

Have you ever wonder what goes into your mom's head sometimes? Most of the time, I don't. I was always putting my arms up in exasperation when my mom annoys the hell out of me... but when I become a mom myself, I realise I understand why she did some of the things she did - because I'd have done it exactly the same way.

10. That I can love someone more than my own life


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