I've been driving around in a new old vehicle

Sunday, April 22, 2012


If you've been following me on my Twitter, you'd realize that I've been driving a car for the past two weeks. In fact, to be accurate, I have been driving a manual transmission car, which wtf. I haven't driven since I passed my driving test 3 years back. -__-

Super long post below. Make sure you go toilet liao then read.


I was driving an Opel Combo.

Can I say that this is officially the most difficult car I've ever driven? LOL. I think it's probably because I've never driven a van in my life, and also because the gears were really difficult to engage.

I've driven a Mitsubishi Lancer, a Suzuki Swift and a Chevy-something. Never had such problems. Only this Opel Combo.

When my manager and I first picked up the car from the workshop, we drove to the nearest petrol station to pump some diesel. First cock-up, I realized I couldn't reverse the car.

Like WTF HOW COME THE REVERSE GEAR CANNOT ENGAGE ONE!!!!!

So I had to drive back to the workshop and ask the mechanic why the reverse gear couldn't be engaged. Apparently, there was some safety catch that I had to release before I could reverse.


Mechanic said, "小姐,你不会驾车啦!" In his words, he said that I cannot drive. In 10 minutes after I picked up the van, his perception of my driving skills went from 5/10 (all girls start with that score cuz these male fuckers always think female drivers = suckasses) to 2/10 because I couldn't engage a reverse gear.

All was smooth on the first day I drove back home - the roads were clear, I could engage all my gears, and I didn't need to stop on slopes.

But sweet days don't last long.

Suddenly, I was reminded of the days when I was learning how to drive. Stop at the fucking slope, pull my handbrake, go to gear 1, find biting point, release handbrake, drive. Except this time, drivers (GUYS ESPECIALLY) are less tolerant because I no longer have an L plate behind my car, and neither do I have a triangle plate to get them to excuse me.

So I got LOADS of horns on the road.

And if that wasn't enough, sometimes, the wretched gears were so hard to engage, I had to go on neutral gear for a good whole 2 seconds before I can engage my next gear. So my car was like at 50kph then suddenly become like 30kph cuz I was struggling with my clutch and forcing the damn gear stick into the slot.

So I got horned again. Wtf now I feel like I'm making so much excuses for my poor driving LOL.

I think I've gotten so much stares and head-shakes from male drivers, it is enough to last me for a lifetime. Sometimes, I feel like telling them, "It's really not my fault. This fucking car wouldn't work with me, damn it!"

Btw, the reason why I ended up driving this van cuz another salesman was driving it initially, but he went to wreck the entire vehicle on some 10-wheel trailer and broke his arm. Told ya this van is a bitch!

*touchwood*, but I've never met into an accident in these three years, and I'm usually the one giving those stares and clicking of the tongue at other drivers ok.

(now this sounds like it's my karma wtf)

***


Anyway, the main point of the story is that despite having to drive such a difficult-to-handle van, I got to realize that my husband loves me very much.

LOL I KNOW RIGHT. LIKE WTF WHERE'S THE LINK, WOMAN!?!?

You see, once I was at the carpark under my block. Nian was waiting at the side because we went back home separately - I left from a company event and him soccer.

I had to park the damn car, right? Right.

So as usual, I positioned my car ready for parking. Stopped beside this Nissan that was about to come out and wanted to engage my reverse gear.

THEN LIKE TIO 4D, THE FUCKING GEAR COULDN'T BE ENGAGED.


So I pumped repeatedly on my clutch pedal, shifted the gear stick to neutral, unlock the safety catch. STILL CANNOT.

Fuck my life already. Then the fucking Nissan decided to turn out into the small road and gave me the biggest high beam of his life. Knn such drivers should just go to hell seriously.

So after 30 seconds of having a war with the gear stick, I finally managed to engage the reverse gear. And I turned into the empty lot.

Then I realized I was too close to my left, so I had to shift the car - which requires me to move the car out (and blocking the Nissan's way again lolololol), maneuveur to my right and then finally got the stupid van in after like.. 3 minutes?

Would have failed if I were taking my driving test hahaha!

So I thought my ordeal was over. Heck! The car is finally in! I am going to walk to the nearest coffeeshop for dinner and I WILL NOT touch the van until I have to drive back to office!

The damn Nissan stopped right in front of my van, rolled down his window and he gave me the biggest stare ever and shook his head so disappointedly, it was mildly funny.

In fact, I was all ready to smile and apologize, but Nian decided otherwise.

He snapped at the Nissan driver, "What? Be more patient can?"

Then the Nissan driver said, "What? I cannot stare?"

Then Nian, "You can stare I cannot say?"

I really wanted to laugh. My husband was really fierce and protective ok! He was like WTF DON'T YOU DARE TO STARE AT MY WIFE LIKE THAT. I KEEL YOU.

The Nissan driver didn't respond, rolled up his window and drove away.

My husband. The hero.

***

Anyway, I am not driving the car this week because I met another eventful happening when I was driving to work on Monday.

I think I didn't mention, apart from stopping on a slope and a series of difficult to engage gears, the next killer would be to get stuck in a traffic jam.

I TELL YOU. I had to half-clutch until my left calf cramped! (Same goes for getting stuck in a crowded multi-storey carpark. It's a torture. TORTUREEEEEE.)


All major expressways suffer from traffic jams every morning.

So being stuck in one last Monday morning, I had to clutch-in, gear 1, clutch-in, gear 2. Oh. Traffic stops again. Brake. Clutch-in. Shift to gear 1. Oh. Move again. Clutch-in. Shift to gear 2. It's all about working that left leg.

Suddenly, I smelled a really pungent smell. Like something bad was burning. It was my clutch pad actually - it was so thin that I completely burned it through - but how would I know? I've never met such an incident before.

So I thought it came from some exhaust pipe of some lorries that somehow, managed to seep through the closed windows into my nose.

Then my clutch stopped working. I still had no idea that the bad smell came from my van lol.

Clutch-in. Gear 1. Speed at 10kph. RPM was at 2-3000 revolution. Whoa, so high.

Clutch-in. Change gear 2. Speed at 20kph. RPM at 5000 revolution. WTF???? Maybe I should go a higher gear to lower the RPM. Why wouldn't my stupid van pick up speed?

Clutch-in. Change gear 3. Speed at 40kph. RPM at 6000 revolution - MAXIMUM LIAO.

Why liddis?!?? Why suddenly my clutch pedal so loose? OMG 40kph on expressway sure kena fucked by people.

Where is the next exit? AH MY GAWD! Nowhere in sight!!!!


I had to stop by the road shoulder and of course, call my hero for help. But in the end, there's nothing much he could do because looking at the situation then, I'd need to call for a tow truck anyway.

So I called office at 7.45AM, which very luckily, my colleague was already in. Working hours only start at 8.30 you know; managed to get the number for the tow truck, and then waited for a good hour for the tow to come.

Even then, I had no idea my clutch pad burned. It was until the tow-uncle tried driving the van, then he told me that he thought that was the case. The van just came back from an overhaul just a fortnight ago, so obviously some mechanics missed that part out.

Thankfully, I managed to hitch a ride from the tow truck, rode out to the nearerst exit and then my manager came swiftly to pick me up. A scary incident, but at least no one was injured!

I'm officially traumatized by this van. But can't wait for it to be back from the repair. I am going to show this bitch who's the boss. >:)

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