Sex and Zen 3D - Movie Review

Monday, July 25, 2011

Last week, Nian and I were invited by OMY for a preview session of Sex and Zen 3D. To be honest, I was very curious about how this entire "first 3D porn movie" will turn out, especially after so much hype from the media... and of course, those sexy Japanese AV models that will guarantee a hard-on on everyone.

While expecting the story to be rather weak in storyline (as advised by my friends that usually erotic movies = no story line, only actions LOL), I was kinda caught by surprise that the story actually does make sense.

(Just in case if you're not really into erotic movies, I'd rather you not click.)

The movie revolves around a scholar of the Ming Dynasty, Wei Yang Sheng, meeting Tie Yu Xiang at a marriage arrangement session for his good friend. Wei then fell in love at first sight with Yu Xiang, snatching the marriage opportunity from his good friend.

Determined for a revenge, his good friend then collaborated with the Ning General, bringing the horny Wei into the Palace of Paradise, where Wei met the haemophrodite Elder of Bliss, who had an incredibly scary-looking penis... And sounded like a man while looking like a woman.

Sexy Vonnie Lui as the Elder of Bliss, can you see her penis wrapped around her thighs?

The story then evolved to how Wei suffered while staying at the Ning General's Palace of Paradise, despite having loads of women to sleep with - all because Wei had erectile dysfunction and could not satisfy most women in the palace.

At the end of the day, the message was clear - "True love doesn't need sex".

My review

I think the film doesn't really live up to its 3D scenes - apart from the occasional 3D effects on the rocks, flying leaves, snow and other unimportant details, most of the sex scenes are fortunately (for me, unfortunately for the rest!) very much 2D. No boobs bouncing in your face at all. :)

Despite earlier reports in June had it that Sex and Zen 3D will be un-cut and uncensored in the heavily controlled media in Singapore, the film has also very unfortunately, had 18 minutes of the sex scenes censored at the time of screening. You won't be able to "enjoy" scenes depicting oral sex, group sex, sadomasochism and those linking to religion.

This very much leaves us to watch how fast Hiro Hayama (Wei) ejaculated during the first 30-45 minutes of the show, which honestly, isn't very fantastic.

And oh, towards the end, Ning General was really, really into torture. Imagine stabbing an already dead body over and over again..... It was too much for me to watch. Maybe, scenes like that should be censored - sex scenes aren't very scary to watch anyway.

This movie serves as a great laughable movie with a few guy friends out on a Friday night when you have absolutely nothing to do. Pretty boring for couples (I'm saying it to represent only Nian and I), and probably a little embarrassing for a group of girls to watch because those Japanese AV girls can really. moan. very. loud.

Do not pick up your phone calls while in the cinema. You've been warned. :)

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